Why in the world have I started a blog?

I’ve wanted to write a blog for a long time- this was not the blog I’ve wanted to write, but it’s the one I’ve started.

Why write a blog you don’t want to write? Selfish reasons, of course! But, you’ll hear more about that along the way.

The purpose of this rambling, you ask? Well, for the two or three people who may happen to stumble upon this mess, hopefully you’ll get a bit of a laugh from my self deprecating ways… but for me, it’s a handy dandy way to keep track of my progress.

Progress? Progress of what? Great question, thanks for asking. I’m trying to get less fat. I know I’ll never be a 5’10”, curvaceous, blonde bombshell with legs for miles (I mean, I’m only 5’9″, so there’s that). But I’m hoping to emilinate some of the extra pooch.

So, rules and guidelines? How am I going to achieve this pooch reduction? Easy! Or so I think.

1. Squats. In the beginning here, I’m aiming for 100 squats per day. This number may increase, it may not.
2. Sit-ups (well, crunches for now). Attempting 1000 crunches per week. Again, this may change, who knows!
3. Doing a bit more walking/hiking. We live less than 5 minutes from a state park with gorgeous hiking opportunities- I need to take advantage of this more often than I have.
4. Eating just a little bit better. I don’t eat poorly now. Yes, I consume my fair share of beer and pizza on the weekend, but I like it – so there.

Oh right- there is a timeline, and a goal amount.

Target date: July 26 

Target loss: 39 pounds 

Alright then. Let’s go!

Days 25-29, sunburn and blisters

Remember how I said I grew up in the middle of nowhere? Did I also mention that the middle of nowhere is in Northern Minnesota?  It’s cold, it snows a lot, and we’re lucky to have 3 months of somewhat-summery weather. When it is nice enough to be outside, the mosquitoes will eat you within a matter of minutes, and if you’re a true Minnesotan, you will be sunburned within three minutes of standing in a shady area… add these two together and you have a sad bug bitten, red and sunburned, splotchy mess. Welcome to summer!

The manfriend and I thought that it would be adorable and symbolic to plant a tree in our yard; watch it grow as we grow old together in our new home. (barfy, I know) So, we went out to a very fancy greenhouse on Sunday and bought three trees, two lilac bushes, three raspberry bushes and a bunch of perennials and annuals. Easy breezy, we thought. It can’t be that hard to plant this stuff! WRONG. Planting trees and bushes is EXHAUSTING, it takes forever, it rips your hands apart, it requires being in the hot sun for hours and hours.

This means that Monday, I was sick. I was home sick and was not doing squats, or anything for that matter (well, laying around on the couch in the AC is something, I suppose) 

So because I was super lazy on Day 27, I then had 124 squats to make up for on Day 28. That’s a lot of squats. Mind you, Day 28  felt like a Monday for me, a slow dragging, miserable Monday, that still had the hangover of being sick the prior day. I will absolutely admit that I did not make up all 124 squats, I fell short by 66, but  completed 182, which is quite an accomplishment.

Day 29 is an increase day, we’re moving on up in the world from 124 to 132. And on top of that 132 is the additional 66 I still have to make up for from Day 28 this is going to be a long day. 

I have a sneaking suspicion that the rest of the week is going to be like this, continually playing catch up… tomorrow I will only be in the office for 3 hours (who has time to complete 132 squats in 3 hours while still attempting to do work?)  and Friday I’m out for most of the morning at another meeting. I see myself now, 4:58 on Friday afternoon with 50 squats to go. This could be bad news.

But enough with the doom and gloom, it’s somehow supposed to be 90 and sunny here this weekend, and of course that means I have a ton more yard work planned, as well as painting a few bedrooms. Or maybe I’ll just go buy an inflatable pool and do a lot of lounging.

 

Day 24, Houston, we have lost some inches

It’s been a bit discouraging to not see my scale move much, other than the initial 8.6 pounds that I lost, I haven’t seen much movement. Mind you, I can’t be too disappointed, it’s not like I’m heavily hitting the gym, or even altering my diet all that much. But, a little activity is more than what I had previously been doing.

Now, I shouldn’t be too upset… I pulled out my handy dandy measuring tape and I’ve lost FIVE AND A HALF INCHES! These inches have come from some random places, mind you, but they’re gone!
I’ve lost two inches from my bust (WHAT?)
One inch from my chest (again, WHAT?)
One half inch from my right thigh
One inch from my left thigh
One inch from my right knee (yeah, I know, weird place to measure)

Now, if math is correct… this means I logically should lose another 18 inches before my target date. We all know that math is never correct and I shouldn’t rely on logic, but it’s a fun thought.

It’s Friday, which I am incredibly excited about. My little sister is graduating today, and it’s her birthday, so we have lots of fun family time scheduled.
It’s also supposed to be almost 90 outside, which makes me really just want to sit on a patio and have a beer.

Have a wonderful weekend, my nonexistent readers.

 

Days 18-23, I need a blog accountabilibuddy

I’ve realized that writing a blog that no one reads is rather unfulfilling. Not that I was anticipating immediate fame and stardom, but maybe a visitor now and again.

Days 18-20 were glorious. Long weekends are the best. Especially when you have friends coming to spend time with you. I’m so thankful to have such great friends; they must really love me, because 5 hours in a car to drive to the middle of nowhere is NOT fun.

On Saturday we went into town and had a nice brunch, did a bit of wandering through shops and made a quick pit stop at the grocery store to pick up supplies for the BBQ/bonfire we were hosting. A few more friends showed up, lots of food was eaten, lots of beverages were consumed, and there is a really excellent dance video that’s now been posted to Facebook.

Sunday we made a good old fashioned southern breakfast (grits, sausage gravy and biscuits, bacon, and scrambled eggs). After struggling to get our pants on, we went to a few different greenhouses and looked at all of the pretty plants. The forecast said it was supposed to be pretty cold and rainy, so we enjoyed laying low. At one point though, the radar claimed that we’d be able to sneak in a bonfire… we started building the fire, got it lit, and woosh a giant storm rolled in. Needless to say, there was no bonfire. But, there was still lots of food and games and beverages.

Monday was exhausting. Three nights of drinking can really wear on a gal, it’s hard to get up that last day and help your friends pack up the seventeen pounds of snacks they brought and make sure that your cat isn’t being smuggled out of the house in one of their bags. Once the friends left, manfriend and I made a quick run into town for a few necessities for the week and promptly plopped down on the couch and didn’t move until bedtime.

It was an excellent weekend. But, I had zero desire to weigh or measure after the massive amounts of awfulness that entered my body. Maybe some other time. Soon.

Day 21 is a Tuesday that feels like a Monday. Monday…. you know how I feel about Monday’s, the lack of motivation was definitely there. But that’s not to say that I didn’t get my 116 squats knocked out. I even managed a few bicep curls.

Day 22 time to increase reps! We’ve now moved from 100 squats to 108, to 116, and now to 124. My legs are going to be tired. Though, surprisingly, it wasn’t so bad. At work, we’ve instituted a new plan – every time you resolve a case, you do some squats. We typically resolve between 5-7 cases per day, which is a good way for me to ensure that I get the right amount in.

Day 23 a Thursday that feels like a Tuesday! Also, Happy June! I think that every week should be a short week. Whoever decided that a five day work week was appropriate… well, I have words for you. Especially on days like today. There’s not a cloud in the sky, the slightest breeze and it’s a toasty 75. What I wouldn’t give to be sitting on my patio right now. Think of the bronzing I could achieve! (Who am I joking, I burn – peel – and turn white again) but the day has been good. I was right, my legs are getting tired from these additional reps, but I think that means that it’s actually doing something.

Tomorrow is another Friday, and it’s going to be a weird one for me. My little sister is graduating and turning 18… she’s making me feel old.
Also, now that I’ve hopefully bounced back a little from my weekend of gluttony and sloth, I’ll pull out that tape measure. Let’s see how things are going!

Days 14-17, So Many Carbs

I really like food. I don’t know if you figured that out yet, but in case you’ve missed it. I really like food. Cooking is one of my favorite activities, and now that I have someone who is home at the same time as I am, and enjoys eating tasty foods too, well, I’m a happy camper.

Day 14 was the manfriend’s birthday, we celebrated with maple glazed pork chops, garlicky mashed potatoes, and roasted green beans. It was delightful. Thankfully I had completed 108 squats during the work day in order to justify all of the butter (yes, I may have put an entire stick of butter in those potatoes, and no, I am not sorry). 

Day 15 was time to do another increase. Adding another squat per hour, and we’re now up to 116 per day. I’ve started to notice that my pants are fitting a little better, the thigh area is a bit looser, and my pooch maybe getting a bit smaller. But day 15 also had some delicious foods… more mashed potatoes (I go on a run with potatoes sometimes, I’ll have them three or four times in a week, and then not have them for a few months),  and meatloaf. I know, I know, meatloaf is such an old lady thing. Not my meatloaf. Mine is stuffed with ham and cheese, wrapped in bacon, and smothered in BBQ sauce. It’s a culinary delight. And will probably give me a heart attack.

Day 16 ended up being a mini-date night. Our cleaning lady had just come by (I know, I know, middle class white people), and I really didn’t want to mess up my kitchen by cooking, since we have friends coming up for the long weekend. Have to impress, you know. So we went to Arby’s; now, I really don’t eat much fast food, but may I remind you – I live in a restaurant wasteland, Arby’s is practically fine dining here. We picked up some bird food and went home to watch Fargo (holy moly, Fargo! This week was intense!) And yes, I did 116 squats, it was great.

Disclaimer: I’m getting tired of squats.
I can feel that they’re working, I can see results in my clothes and in the way my body is feeling. But I am TIRED of them. The monotony drives me mad. And allegedly I still have 61 days until I’m done with this self-induced program of ridiculousness.

Day 17 we’ve made it to another Friday! Thank goodness, this week has been dragging… and probably because I have friends coming to town this afternoon for the long weekend. It will be three glorious days of grilling out, bonfires, and beers on my patio of greatness. (Greatness, because I managed to figure out how to wire my outdoor living space with some awesome speakers – so much great music!) We may find our way to a farmer’s market, or a greenhouse, or even the state park for a hike and a picnic; they really want to live the country life. Dang those city boys. 
I’m also in the office all by myself today. This is a great thing, and an awful thing. I like talking to people, I get lonely if I’m all by myself for too long. But, I think I’ll be able to get my ‘workout’ done a bit earlier in the day – mainly because I’m not embarrassed of myself in front of myself.

Either way. Happy Friday, and have a wonderful weekend.
I’ll be back sometime soon with an update on my weight loss as well as inches (did I tell you that I bought a fancy tape measure – the kind they use for sewing, apparently – and did my first measurements on Day 8.)

Weekend Adventures

I suppose I should start off with the conclusion of Day 10, it was Friday. It was a good day. It was a day where I somehow talked myself into completing not only my scheduled 108 squats, but also complete the ones I hadn’t done the day before. All in all, I knocked out 161 squats on Friday. And oyyyyyy, my legs were telling me about it.

The rest of Friday was delightful. We took a mini-road trip one of the local casinos; drank a few beers (lies, it was a lot of beers), won a few hands of blackjack, and ate the most delicious dinner I’ve had in a very long time.

Segue here… please allow me to tell you a bit about myself. Loverman and I recently bought a house. It’s an amazing house, it’s beautiful, it’s spacious, I have a barn door in my bathroom! The backyard is meticulously landscaped, and it makes me smile every time I look at it. This dream house is located in the middle of nowhere… and that makes my heart sad sometimes. Prior to moving into our dream house, we lived in a semi-large, bustling metropolis. There were always things to do, shows and concerts to see, art exhibits, festivals, excitement was everywhere. There was amazing food (in fact, there were even amazing grocery stores!), there were James Beard nominated chefs and restaurants, food trucks and little vendors popping up everywhere. The farmers market was a paradise.
The transition from metropolis to rural was bound to be difficult, despite the fact that I grew up about an hour from my current location. Yes, I grew up in the middle of nowhere. But those formative years, the age when I realized how wonderful shopping was, and started playing with makeup, eating wonderful cuisines, and finding a love for theater, those years were spent in larger cities. So despite my prior experience, I don’t think that this town feels like home yet (I mean, where’s the Macy’s?), and the one major thing that I find lacking is delightful options for different foods.
There are a few grocery stores here (I say a few, because some people would count Target and WalMart as being grocery stores), but there isn’t a lot of variety, there isn’t much that excites me, no exotic fruits or out of the ordinary meat selections. Other than the chain restaurants (Applebee’s date night, anyone?), the selection of GREAT food is minimal. We’ve found a fantastic little bakery/cafe that serves great soups and sandwiches (and when we walk in, the median age decreases dramatically), and a great BBQ place.
But, sinking my teeth into those broiled shrimp, the tenderness of the beef tips, the probable pound of butter that was in my mashed potatoes. That made my heart sing. It was nice to have some GREAT food again.

Back to the weekend… I’d say we did a fair amount of wandering around this weekend. We were up and down the casino floor on Friday night. On Saturday, we explored a little lake town and meandered through their downtown shops. Saturday night was another adventure featuring beer and nachos. We did walk to a different bar (and promptly back to where we came from), so I can’t say that we were complete lumps on our weekend getaway.
Sunday was mainly spent in the car, driving home. We did make a quick pit stop at Target for the weekly essentials (s’mores ingredients, obviously essential) and then we sat on the couch and enjoyed a long few hours of relaxing.

The exciting part? In 12 days, I’ve lost 8.6 pounds.
I need to remind myself to stop hopping on the scale every day. It’s driving me insane. I also need to remind myself that the scale isn’t the ultimate decision maker as to whether I’ve succeeded in this challenge or not. It’s up to me.

Days 7-10, because life takes over sometimes

I don’t think I ever promised that I’d write every day, did I? Well, if I did, my apologies… sometimes life just gets in the way.

Day 7 also known as Tuesday. Tuesday was a good day, Tuesday was a breakthrough day, Tuesday was the day that my co-workers got on board with my crazy plan. In fact, one of them now has a fancy little post-it note on her computer monitor that says Move It! and reminds her to get up and do a little something, and she’s even on board with a few squats now and again. She’s not  up to 100 per day, but having someone else in my court is definitely a motivator!

So yes, I was able to complete my 100 squats, and well before the end of the work day. It was glorious.

Day 8 was another breakthrough day! My co-worker who has now jumped on the bandwagon decided to bring in a weighted hula hoop, a jump rope (which I am too tall to use in the office… sad face), and two five-pound dumbbells (so we can work on our lady-guns). We’ve also created a rule that requires completing walking lunges every time you go to the bathroom, which is awful for me, because I drink about 300oz of liquid each day – but, I guess that means I’ll just have some amazing legs.

I’ve also decided to increase my squats, rather than starting at 9 squats at 9:00am, I’ve pushed it to 10 squats at 9:00am, which means I’m now doing 108 squats per day. I think this increase will probably happen once a week, assuming that my legs don’t give out on me by then.

With the encouragement of my coworkers, my 108 squats were completed easily. I even managed to work in a few bicep curls. :

Day 9 sorry, there’s not room for three breakthrough days in one week. Thursday was awful. I had an absolutely terrible day at the office; mean clients, mean co-workers, crummy weather, just bad overall. There wasn’t the happy mood that has been circulating around lately, there was just doom and gloom. And maybe that’s just my perception, since I was the one having the bad day. But for me, bad day means no energy, no motivation, no desire to do anything other than the bare minimum.

And I didn’t even do the bare minimum. The bare minimum would have been 108 squats… I completed a measly 55.

Day 10 FRIDAY! You know how much I love Friday. Especially this Friday; we’re heading out of town for a weekend adventure with lots of tasty foods and drinks and shopping. It’s also a bit of a celebration for the manfriend, things have been going amazingly for him at work lately, and it’s his birthday early next week. Why not go celebrate! So, this super happy mood that I’m currently in has reflected on my squatting.

I decided that since yesterday was such a terrible day, that I needed to make up for it. I was 53 squats short of hitting my goal for the day, which means I need to do an extra 53 today to be even for the week. As of right now (2:15pm), I’m at 107 for the day, which is almost my full day quota anyway. In the next two and three quarter hours, I’m sure I can manage an extra 54.

I’ve also made three trips to the bathroom… walking lunges, here we go! And have done a few sets of bicep curls. It’s going to be a great Friday, y’all.

 

Day 6 – yes, Monday is the worst

Being motivated enough to get out of bed on a Monday morning should automatically give anyone a free pass for the rest of the day, a gold star, even. But alas, after you get out of bed, you still have to get dressed and make yourself presentable enough to go out into the world and do your job for 8 hours. Adulting is hard.

So, yes, overall, Monday on a whole was rough. Now, that’s not to say that I didn’t complete what I set out to do. I did! However, I was still finishing up those darn squats while standing in the entryway of my house. “Hi Honey!” *squat* “Oh yes! How was your day?” *squat* “What would you like for dinner?” *squat*  – it wasn’t what I wanted to be doing, but I told myself that I was going to get them done – and I DID. (So there, bugger off, MONDAY.)

 

Weekends are for relaxing

I suppose we should start with Friday, huh? Friday was great! It’s the end of the work week, there’s two full days of enjoyment with no responsibilities just waiting for you.

On the squat front, I was able to complete all 100 of those buggers. Again, I’m pretty sure I was squatting at 5:01 pm to ensure that they were completed before I left work. But, I did it!

I then, promptly went home, sat on my patio in the sunshine for a few hours, drank my fair share of beers, and ate pizza. Is that what they call balance?

The weekend was lovely, there were no squats or crunches to contend with (we’ll chat more about those crunches in a moment), the most exercise I got was in the form of power shopping. That’s definitely cardio, if you know me, and know how I shop.

Now, these crunches. Let’s talk about these crunches. I just don’t think they’re going to happen. Other than the 100 I did on my first day, I haven’t had any interest in laying on the floor and contorting my body. So, for now, I think we should put these crunches on hold. Sounds good? Sounds good.

Update from the week is impressive, though. Overall, I lost SEVEN pounds! Who knew that squats were so effective. My new thought, though, is that perhaps rather than only counting pounds, that I also count inches. This requires a trip to the store, more cardio!

 

Day 2: How do people make time for this stuff?

Oh look! I haven’t given up yet. I’m surprised. If you knew me, you’d be surprised. I have lofty goals, am great at planning for those goals, but am not so great with the execution. Perhaps this will be the start of some great personal changes. Or you’ll never hear from me again, who knows.

So, Day 2. How’d things go, you ask? Well, they went. Sort of. I was ready to tackle those squats at work, I took down twenty of those bad boys right away at the beginning of the day. After that… well, things were not so bright and shiny. I did get them done, all 100 of them. I mean, I may have been squatting at 5:01 pm in order to finish up before I left the office, but I DID IT.

Thankfully, I’m in a really small office (there’s only four of us), so I at least don’t look like a crazy person while I’m squatting away. Actually, I probably do look like a crazy person, but there’s only three other people who can readily judge me. I was chatting with one of the co-workers about my challenge, seeing if I could garner interest in an office-wide squat-a-thon each day, but I got some giggles and pretty stern NO’s.

So, time to go home, time to start working on those crunches. I have a TON of crunches to do, since I slacked off the day before and only did 100. YES! Or… no. My partner is out of town quite a bit for work (yes, partner, because I’m too dang old to call him my boyfriend, and manfriend makes things sound not as serious as they are), and I wasn’t expecting him to be home until later in the evening. Of course he ended up being home when I got there. And I’m a sap. I needed hugs and snuggles and kisses and time catching up. Long story short? I didn’t do any crunches. None. Zip. Nada.

Well, maybe Day 3 will be more of a success. Though, since it’s Friday, I’m thinking that there will be some beer, some pizza, and a lot of relaxing on the patio. So, let’s chat on Monday, I’ll tell you all about my weekend, and the massive amount of crunches I (probably didn’t actually do) did.

Day 1 – how do I do a squat?

This whole crazy plan was formulated the other night when I couldn’t sleep. What would bore me enough to help me pass out? Exercise, of course! Somehow, my plan has now been put into action, and we are officially on Day 1.

I’ve made a fancy chart that illustrates my squat quota per hour (9 squats at 9:00am through 16 squats at 4:00pm), assuming I know how to use a calculator- this will bring me to 100 squats per day.

I’ve also figured that 1000 crunches spread out over 7 days should equal somewhere around 143(ish) per day.

Brilliance! I’ll do squats during the day at work, and crunches when I get home, so it won’t ever feel like I’m spending a lot of time ‘working out’. Sounds great in theory, eh?

Day 1 my first squats started around 7:00pm – after browsing many videos online showing me how to do an actual squat. Doing 100 in a row is rather boring, so I decided to tuck my feet under the sofa and work on some of those crunches – break up the monotony, right? I will say that I successfully completed my 100 squats for the day, but fell a bit short on my crunch goal – only 100, rather than the 143(ish). I suppose that means tomorrow I’ll  have to kick it up a notch.

I’ve done my first weigh in, just to see where the baseline starts, but I think to keep you all in suspense (and to ensure I don’t drive myself mad by hopping on the scale after every rep), I won’t post any results perhaps for a week.

Now, onto nightmares of squats. I also fear, my legs will be tired in the morning.